At first, it started as a joke after what some may call a break up but I call it my typical magic disappearing act. By disappearing act I mean the closure that one never truly gets from a relationship because the guy just decides on his own clock that something was just not jiving for him so he ups and leaves with no conversation or signal that this was coming. You may think why I use the word typical...well that is because this is how the majority of my "relationships" end, leaving me in the dark.
I was dating this guy and I say 'guy' loosely because he was by no means yet a man in my book. After about 2 1/2 months he decided to slow things down with a text message and then fade off into the distance. I was quite upset, confused, and sad for a few reasons besides the fact that I really liked him and thought things were looking good. My dad tried cheering me up as any great father wants his daughter to be happy in life. He exclaimed to me over a phone venting session on men and my new dating scene in San Francisco that I need to just get myself out there to meet more people as it is the only way to find the one that is right for you. He told me he wanted me to date 8 men by the end of the year. At first we both laughed but then after thinking about the idea it only made sense....I mean standing still never really got anyone anywhere now did it? Mind you it was probably around the end of August leaving me with 4 to 5 months to complete this task and the scoreboard reading a sorry 1 for 8 right now.
Don't worry I am not a shy girl and managed to have quite the dating frenzy for quite some time. In fact, I went on 2 dates in one day once (lunch and dinner). Now it seems easy to say date 8 men in 5 months but I also didn't want to just date for the sake of dating so I was trying to find some real prospects out there that would turn into a relationship and allow me to put this laundry list of men on the back burner. There were a few dates that only lasted 1 to 3 dates before ending and a few that lasted a few months (I know shocker!). It became a running joke with some of my friends, so much to the point that the men began to have code names in the stories to keep them straight. I might get more in depth one day in the future should I chose to dive into the deep darkness of the past dating life. But for now I will keep it simple at there were some that I just looked at and knew it wasn't going to work for me and there were some that I still think of today as much as it hurts. Unfortunately, for many reasons love did not prevail, but I almost made it all the way to my goal.
Oh well I guess it was more like Seven in '07.
For some they feel it was a shallow and materialistic view on dating as "love will find you when you are least expecting it". However, it definitely got my wheels turning and made me come to realize and learn a lot about myself and what I am looking for in a man, a relationship, and what makes me "me". Some things I have come to terms with (I think I knew some of these norms before but didn't really ever practice them or make them a standard in my dating life)
- Be true to yourself, and when you are you will attract those that appreciate and see the little things in life that you are worth loving for.
- Listen to the subtle queues of dating in the beginning ( Oh do I have some funny stories on this one....well they didn't seem so funny back then but in reflection are quite comical).
- Don't say never. You never know when you may break your own exceptions and thoughts about yourself.
- Sexual and physical chemistry DOES matter and it doesn't make you a shallow person to think so.
- Online chemistry does not equal In-person chemistry
- You deserve a Fucking phone call!
